The last yama is called Aparigraha. Translated from Sanskrit it means non possessiveness or non grasping. The word parigraha means to reach for something and claim it as your own. When we add the “A” before, it changes the meaning to the antonym or the opposite. In its simplest sense, aparigraha is limiting what you have to what you really need.

A sadhu might possess nothing and a gift may not be accepted if it is more than the receiver really needs. However, what is more important than the act of possession is thinking we “own” our material possessions and that our happiness depends upon holding on to those possessions. This concept extends further past our material possessions to our relationships, memories, and also beliefs.

Aparigraha gives us the permission to let go of the fear and clinging we experience around loss and trying to protect what we think we own. This yama has a huge effect on our suffering and happiness either long term or momentary. All suffering, no matter how large or small, is caused by our resistance to loss or change. It is so simple. When we cling, we suffer.

B.K.S. Iyengar says, “The yogi feels that the collection or hoarding of things implies a lack of faith in God and in himself to provide for the future….By the observance of aparigraha, the yogi makes his life as simple as possible and trains his mind not to feel the loss or the lack of anything. Then everything he really needs will come to him by itself at the proper time.”

So how then does marriage and married life fit into the scheme of bramacharya? Kirpal Singh, a 20th century spiritual teacher, said that marriage is no bar to spirituality if lived in accordance to the scriptures. In its strictest sense, sex is for the procreation of children. However, it is more important to be loving, kind, compassionate and giving to one’s mate.

Have you ever wondered where all these desires come from in the first place? In Sally Kempton’s article, “Gotta Have It” from Yoga Journal, she tells us the wonderful story about how Brahma created desire. It goes like this. (for Sally’s full article go to http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1838)

"Well-managed desire can inspire you to action and help shape your life. Unmanaged desire—well, distraction is the least of it. Even Brahma, the ancient, ageless creator of the universe, turned into a hormone-crazed teenager when inflamed with desire. In fact, his story reveals the power of desire and what's needed to turn it into a force for good.

The Birth of Desire
Brahma didn't mean to create the god Desire. He had just finished creating the original sages and the young goddess, Dawn, when a beautiful young man appeared out of nowhere, holding a bow and a quiver with seven arrows. Fascinated, Brahma named the boy Desire. "You will kindle longing and excitement in all creatures," he said. "Your arrow will be called the inflamer, and anyone you shoot will fall under your sway. In this way, beings will come together in love, and the dance of this world will continue."

With that, Desire shot his first arrow—straight at Brahma. Lust and longing surged up in the great deity, and without thinking he seized the beautiful goddess Dawn and threw her to the ground. But before he could have his way with her, a voice came from the sky—the voice of Shiva, the lord of yoga, who had witnessed everything through his meditative vision. "Brahma, have you forgotten that she is your daughter?" Shiva cried. At that moment, Brahma realized this new force might not be entirely controllable.

The story doesn't end there, and its aftermath gives us the best clue about managing our own desires: One day, so the tale goes, Brahma summoned Desire and instructed him to aim his arrow at Shiva. The well-being of the universe, Brahma said, depended on getting Shiva to come out of meditation and hook up with his eternal consort, Shakti, who had recently taken form as the goddess Parvati. Besides, Brahma was secretly eager to see Shiva lose his cool.

The Derailment of Desire
But when Shiva felt the prick of Desire's arrow, he opened his third eye and let loose the laser like fire of enlightened awareness, and Desire was pulverized. Of course, the young god was immortal, so the loss of his body didn't affect his capacity for disturbing the peace. His arrows continue to excite blind desire in all of us—with ever greater success, says the myth, since we can't see him.

Shiva's third eye represents the power of awareness, the only force strong enough to stand up to desire. But not necessarily destroy it, as some traditional interpretations would have it. Shiva's gesture expresses one of the true gifts of yoga: the capacity for insight, born out of meditation, which can help you see into your desires—and then to discriminate between those that are good for you and those that are not.”

The interesting thing about desire is that to reach your underlying desire, you can keep asking yourself what you are truly desiring. As you dig deeper and deeper, you may find that most, if not all desires, go back to the desire for peace and happiness. It’s at this point that we can start asking ourselves what really brings us peace and what really brings us happiness. Most probably the answer will be those things which are eternal and do not change since everything else changes and causes us to suffer. Then we can begin to see that like all the mystics from all time, the one thing that doesn’t change is the Permanent Self, God, Brahman, Jehovah, the Universe or whatever else you choose to call that Power.

This doesn’t mean that we can stop desiring by merely saying we want to practice aparigraha. However, just having the realization about the truth of desire will begin to initiate changes in our choices. Sally Kempton concludes her article by saying, “When you learn to identify your deepest desires, you can truly take advantage of desire's creative power. That's when intentions, instead of being wishes or fantasies, become powerful engines that awaken your life.”

Here’s to Becoming Awake!!!!!!

A Practice for Aparigraha:
Practicing aparigraha in your yoga practice can be as simple as deciding to let something go in that practice. For instance, you can let go of the idea of doing perfect poses or being better than someone else. You can let go of doing the same routine of poses and change the order in which you do them. You can let go of the fear of some poses and give them a try in a different way. So by doing this, you are letting go of the fear of change and loss, not clinging to habitual ways of thinking or doing.

Examine what you hold on to in your practice and what would happen if you gave that up. Do you hold on to unnecessary muscle energy? Are there places in your body where you can relax and yield? Can you keep a soft attitude toward your poses or do you constantly try to achieve a goal of how you think the pose should be like touching your toes in a forward bend or reaching your ankles in camel. Do you need to own your pose in your mind or can you simply experience it through your body? Can you let go of what you have done in your practice during savasana or do you go over your poses and think about what you did correctly and what you can improve?

During pranayama, concentrate on your exhale and see how deeply you can let go of your breath. What are the feelings you experience? Do your muscles respond to the letting go or do they want to grip and resist? What happens to your thoughts? Can you keep centered in the moment of exhalation or does your mind run to taking the next inhale? On your exhale, you can create a mantra of letting go using whatever words are meaningful to you. My mother used to use a mantra of breathing in peace and breathing out stress. She would practice this every night before she went to sleep.

Aparigraha is really about letting go. It’s about living the moment, generosity, non violence, truth, and compassion. Its very essence encompasses all the other yamas.

As a lifelong advocate of both physical fitness and spiritual growth, Francesca finds the practice of yoga a natural. She began studying yoga seriously 6 years ago when first introduced to the philosophy and alignment principals of Anusara Yoga. She is now a registered SOYA yoga instructor with a RYT 500 designation with the Yoga Alliance and is a faculty member of the South Okanagan Yoga Academy in B.C. Canada. She says, “Taking the seat of the yoga teacher is a gift and a responsibility given to me by my teachers. I take this position seriously since I now function as both student and teacher. My desire is to share my love of yoga and the philosophy that enlivens it with all my students.” She encourages people of all ages, shapes, and sizes to come to class and enjoy the many benefits of a yoga practice.
Yoga Lesson Plan Series on the digestive system is now available for purchase on my web page! Each lesson plan incorporates different yoga poses, medical and holistic explanations or theories, and pranayama for optimal focus on the body organ being addressed. You can email Francesca at francesca.shree@me.com or visit her website for more information at www.shreeyoga4u.com